It was a choice

you are put in a position where you are forced
to choose between the two,
                           a passion or your culture
you may love art and you have to choose
                           art or Māori
like it’s a choice
                           it was a choice
between going through school as mainstream
or be one of those Māori kids who have
to take the Māori class
                            all the way through
who has been identified as a naughty kid
the choice is even harder
because it’s not just the choice
                           “what i love to do and my identity”,
it’s also the labelling that comes with
                          my identity
knowing if I choose that path
everyone
                            is
gonna know
                            who i am as that Māori
then that makes it hard to choose.

 
These powerful words come from a collection of 20 poems which are the combined creative effort of a rōpū of Māori school leavers in Whangārei. The collection was the unexpected outcome of a Matakitenga project by NPM researcher Dr Maia Hetaraka (Ngātiwai, Ngāi Tahu, Ngāpuhi, Ngāti Pāoa) exploring Māori school leavers experiences of racism while at school. 

While a poetry collection was not the initial goal of the research, Maia and her research assistant Rhoen Hemara (Te Rarawa, Te Kapotai, Ngā Puhi) were struck by the rawness of the kōrero of the rangatahi they spoke with. They felt that packaging their conversations into the usual ‘outputs’ of academic literature and teaching resources would lessen the impact of their voices.
 
“So, we took their words and looked at different sections and turned their conversations into poetry, and they make for uncomfortable, yet amazing, reading,” says Maia.
 
A teacher herself, Maia says all teachers should read the poetry to fully understand the insidious nature of racism and its impacts on Māori students.
 
“Teachers need to sit with this and feel the discomfort. Our kids shouldn’t feel like this when they go to school, and it won’t do teachers any harm to feel what our kids do.”
 
The rangatahi involved in the research identified two types of racism they had experienced and observed while at school: personal and structural. Often it was overt. Maia said while some teachers think they are getting away with racist talk and behaviour, their words can cause hurt and anxiety for Māori students.
 
“Kids are smart. They see the different ways they are treated, the body language, the tone of voice, they often couldn’t explain what they were seeing, but their senses are highly attuned.”
 
The school leavers described how teachers categorised Māori as “good” or “bad” according to whether they were academic or not, which made students feel uncomfortable for their friends and relatives who were in the “bad” category.
 
Maia believes teachers and schools still have a long way to go when it comes to addressing the racial bias of teachers. According to Maia, some high school principals in the Whangārei area were not happy when they found out her study was taking place, and this reaction underlines the need for schools to face some uncomfortable truths.
 
“The principals were upset that they might be identified through my research and were anxious. Some were defensive, and it leaves you asking the question – what are the schools scared of? The truth? They appear not to want to identify the issues, and work towards addressing them, rather it appears they would rather protect their school’s reputation.”

Maia says while teachers do have opportunities for anti-racism training, most of it is theoretical. “What is missing in training is the student’s voice. This poetry gives teachers the chance to let their hearts see what students are feeling when they are subjected to racism.”
 
Maia aims to hold an exhibition of the poetry in Whangārei and is hopeful of publishing a book. She says the creative outcome of her research has had an unexpectedly positive impact on her own work as a researcher.
 
“I came into this project intent on outputs. But the creative outcome for me has been a change in who I am as a researcher. I realised as researchers, while we want to make big changes for our people, sometimes those big changes come in the form of small voices that ache to be heard.”
 
“While I have written a paper for this research, I realised sometimes writing an academic paper is not enough. You don’t need to always develop a framework or a theory or make shiny resources. You just need to hear the voices of people who often go unheard.”

He Kōrero | Our Stories

Natalie Netzler is investigating the anti-viral properties of Samoan plants and is interested in researching the anti-viral properties of rongoā, in partnership with Māori practitioners.

Neuroscientist Nicole Edwards is establishing her own lab at the University of Auckland and is eager to tautoko students interested in a career in brain research.

AUT senior lecturer Deborah Heke encourages wāhine Māori to cherish their connection with te taiao.